Yes it has been a long time since I have posted.  Alot has been happening.  I don't know where to begin, but lately I've been struggling.  I don't know if I am coming or going.  I finally got a job! Yay me! But I feel so lost and so empty. I feel as though I am completely alone.  Although I have friends I feel like those friends who I have cherished for years have become a thing of the past.  I know they are busy and have their own lives but I was once a part of that life and now I am a memory.
I struggle with being alive.  I feel as though sometimes I am already dead. Do I just pop up and people see me and say how they miss me or love me?  Because sometimes I c an be standing right in front of them and cannot be seen nor heard.  I don't know how to explain how I feel, but it's almost like the walking dead.  I am a spirit and only few see me, some acknowledge me and others just pass on by.  Is it me that is the living among the dead or me the dead among the living...