Funny how you have all these friends...right?
I used to call my friends all the time, even after I moved to another state. I mean after all, I don't really know anyone here.
It was the great conversations before, wanting to know how the move went, how I like the new state, then it came down to, I'll call you back and they never did.
The holidays came, and not one phone call. I did send texts on Christmas as I didn't want to interrupt people. No one called me or text me until I text them. My husbands and other family member's phones blew up. New Years, nothing. I sent many text and made several calls. No one reached out to me. as he
I mentioned to a few that I feel bad cause no one bothers to reach out to me anymore. I have since stopped calling everyone. I still call my husband. But the only time my phones rings is when my husband calls or a spam call. Sometimes, I get an auto call from my nieces school informing me of snow days.
I deleted my social media account over 2 weeks ago, and no one even notices I am gone. I tell myself everyday that I am going to end it all. No one will ever know, except my husband, my niece and my animals. I know it would destroy my animals, or so I think it would.
Once I am gone, and my ashes put in a jar, I'll be put in the ground with the ashes of my beloved felines that have passed on before me. My grave will remain empty, as there will be no one to put a flowers on my grave. I don't know why, but that eats at me more than anything. My dad used to make sure to put flowers on graves every year, then as he got older, I would take care of graves closer to me and he would do the ones closer to him. Once he passed, I did the graves.
Every year I put flowers on 14 graves, my husband put flowers on 6 graves. He only does it cause I do. He is on the road all the time, his family doesn't really care for me much. I wish this miserable life would of never started, because regardless of anything good or bad that I have done, nothing will be remembered.
